Show, don’t tell: when to write a scene and when to summarise

Two useful ways to tell a story

Showing gives the reader particulars to work with: an action, a line of dialogue, a thought or a detail someone notices. Telling states or condenses information. A scene often unfolds through a sequence of actions; summary can carry a stretch of time in a sentence. They can share the same paragraph.

Neither method guarantees a good passage. In her advice on scenes and summary, novelist Patricia Park describes how over-expanding ordinary routines can bury a story. The writing guides linked below also treat scene and summary as tools to combine. Use the distinction to choose where your reader spends attention.

Start with a clear summary

Lena was nervous before her first public reading. She waited outside the room. When the host called her name, she went in.

This is an original fictional example. It establishes the event, the feeling and the outcome. There is no error to fix if all the reader needs is this information. For the next version, suppose the story centres on Lena choosing to enter despite her nerves.

Expand the moment that matters

Lena stopped outside the reading room. Through the door came the end of someone else’s poem, then applause. At the top of her own page she had written: “Hello. My name is Lena.” She mouthed the words without sound.

“Lena?” the host called.

She folded the bottom corner of the page, flattened it again and put her hand on the door. The handle clicked. She went in.

The invented details give this particular wait a shape. Practising her own name suggests how difficult an ordinary introduction feels here. The repeated fold delays her movement; the final action ends that delay. The scene keeps the first version’s basic situation and outcome, while adding particulars. It does not prove that Lena has overcome her fear.

Keep the meaning legible

A folded corner does not have one universal meaning. It could come from nerves, boredom or habit. Here, the first reading, the practised introduction and the pause at the door support an anxious reading. If that remains too vague for your story, “She was nervous” is still available. A feeling word and a concrete action can work together.

Do not turn the revision into a list of symptoms: pounding heart, shaking hands, dry mouth, weak knees. Choose a detail that belongs to this person in this situation. You can also show a thought or a deliberate decision; you do not have to describe only what a camera would record.

Compress when the story needs to move

Now suppose the important event happens inside, when Lena recognises someone in the audience. The corridor is a bridge to that event. A shorter version could be:

Nervous before her first public reading, Lena waited outside and went in when the host called her name.

The short version keeps the necessary information and gets to the room. It is useful for a different job. If you want both the nerves and a quick transition, keep just one detail: “Lena silently rehearsed her own name outside the reading room; when the host called, she went in.”

Summary is also useful for repetition. “For three weeks she read the poem aloud each evening” can carry practice between two important scenes. You need not dramatise every evening. Expand a particular rehearsal only if something there deserves the reader’s attention.

Try one of these three prompts

Take paper and a pen, or open a document. Each prompt gives a situation and an outcome. Invent details freely, but keep those two anchors so you can compare the versions.

• The borrowed book: Arun wants his friend to return a book but feels awkward asking. By the end, he has asked. Write three to five sentences that make the request difficult for him, then one sentence that moves straight to the friend’s answer.
• The empty platform: Jo is disappointed that a visitor has cancelled. Jo waits, then boards the next train home. Write three to five sentences with one relevant action or noticed detail, then compress the same event into one sentence. End both versions with Jo boarding. Invent the circumstances without adding a new crisis.
• The repaired kite: Bea tries to hide her pride when her younger brother sees the kite she has repaired. She hands it to him. Write three to five sentences, then one sentence that moves on to their first attempt to fly it. Keep the handover in both versions.

Choose a version by its job

• Name the next important event. Is this passage that event, or the way to reach it?
• In the expanded version, underline the action or detail that does the most work. What can a reader reasonably infer from it? Keep necessary context nearby.
• In the short version, check what disappeared. Did you cut repetition, or a choice the reader needed to witness?
• Read each version with the sentence that follows it. Keep the scene, keep the summary or combine them. The aim is a deliberate effect, not the removal of every feeling word.

About the exercise

Scene, summary and the advice to “show” are established writing ideas. Coru created Lena’s example, the alternative versions, the three prompts and the worksheet for this page. The examples demonstrate editing choices; they are not accounts of real people or a test of a single correct style. The worksheet uses Lena’s situation, but you can replace it with a moment from your own draft.

Sources & further reading

• Patricia Park, The Center for Fiction: Scenes & Summary
• Eastern Washington University Writers’ Center: Fiction
• Lindsey Wilson College Writing Center: Showing and Telling (PDF)